The last two nights have been a little bit crazy, filled with good times, good food, good alcohol, and good company. Much props to the caretakers at TH for providing with an excellent "trial" party, hope everything went well, and hopefully we'll see more of that in the future. Much props as well to the good people over at McKinley Multicultural Center for excellent frybread, excellent drinks, and really really excellent salsa. Seriously, that salsa was crazy awesome. And finally, much props to those at Milvia House, for also providing for space for good times. One of the more interesting weekends I've had in a while, and also my first real experience with taking care of someone when they are under the weather (even though I honestly didn't do that much and probably would have been better off had it just been the other person taking care of her). Either way, hope that person's feeling better.

Anyhoo, now it's time for the horrible truth (warning: stupid silly crush-related material ahead):

For a long time I had been slowly but surely developing a scenario in my head involving a certain girl in my life. Though I am usually good on rejecting such scenarios, as they are usually completely baseless and are merely wishful thinking on my part, I kinda let this one roll for two reasons. 1) Instead of me crushing on someone, it was the other way around, and 2) there were a certain number of coincidences that led me to believe that this one may actually turn out to be true. I didn't pursue this option, mostly cuz of the lingering doubts that it was all just in my head, and the fact that I wanted to be truthful to myself. I didn't want to pursue this option just cuz it might have had a chance of coming to fruition, i had to want it myself.
The horrible truth is that I let this go on, not because I had feelings for the girl, but because I had feelings for this girl possibly having feelings for me. I had a crush on the possibility that someone had a crush on me. And the worst part of it is, despite the inital evidence of this being true, it is becoming more and more apparent that it is in fact all in my head, and nothing else.
So where does this leave me? Back to square one, basically. I don't know where to go from this, and it feels kindof awkward without having a certain amount of closure on the subject. I'd like to address this person personally on the matter, but it is difficult, especially when it starts feeling more and more like there is no basis for any of this.
It would probably be better to simply drop the matter and stop thinking about it.
But hope always lingers on.
Honestly, we are friends, and I like things the way they are. But I like thinking about what could be.
So, I guess, here's to waiting some more, continuing with the way things are, until something happens, for better or for worse.

IN happier news, school starts tomorrow. Fuck. but that does mean football season starts soon. go bears!

Quote of the day: "I was thinking 'Wow, that's a big room!' And then it turned out to be outside" -me