Well, this is the official start of summer entry:

Finals are done and over with, the semester is at an end, and I couldn't be happier. As I've mentioned before, this semester kicked my ass. I was so excited about being accepted into the computer science major last fall that I missed out on an important step, which is being advised as to which classes to take. In fact, due to the fact that I was accepted and needed to sign up for classes immediately afterwards, there wasn't much time to decide on classes, as most were full, and I simply needed to put myself on the waiting list for what was available. I did have plans to take the classes I ended up taking, so I guess it's not like it made a difference. However, I will say this. To any budding CS majors, CS170 and 162 a good combination do not make. One demands your mental energies, the other demands your physical energies. Blaaaaah.

Anyways, I"m glad it's over, and I got out relatively unscathed, and admittedly, I did learn a lot of interesting things and met some interesting people. I"m still debating whether I should pursue this music minor thing, but we'll see how that turns out later, I guess. As for now, I am searching for something to do for the summer,a job of some kind. We'll see how that works out.

Recently, Adam has accused me of having high standards when it comes to women and that is the main reason why I don't have a girlfriend. Myself, I don't believe this is true. I've been interested in women on all kinds of levels of attraction, I don't just look for the really hot or cute ones or whatever. I will say that I have varying degrees of standardness, and what I look for in women is different all the time. I haven't figured out the perfect formula for what I am interested in, it really depends on the person and how I feel about them. However, it is true that sometimes my superficiality gets in the way.
In fact, I will readily admit here that I potentially missed out on someone really special because of that. I'm not saying it would've definitely worked out had I gone for it, but there was at least a possibility, and something may have been there.
For a long time after that ship had sailed, I agonized over it, cursing myself for being a fool and letting the opportunity slip once again. I will also readily admit that I am not good at seizing opportunities, or even putting myself in a position where opportunities will be readily available. Indeed, I'm afraid of what to do when I put myself in that position, so I usually just try and stay in a safe place.
Either that, or I take too long and the opportunity passes. It really sucks, and I fully well expect it to probably happen to the girl I kinda-sorta have feelings for now (actually, it kinda happened already, since the semester ended, she's miles away now, hopefully we'll see where things go when we're back in school). I guess one problem is that I often question whether my feelings for someone are genuine. I know some people say that that is the reason to date someone, to test out your feelings for someone, but I don't know if I'm really the type to just do random dating to find that someone (at least, not in this stage of my life). Yeah, it's true, I've never really dated, so how would I know whether I'm that kind of person or not? But, that's the way I feel right now, I'd rather develop feelings for someone and at least know that there is a chance of something working out for somewhat long-term before delving in.
For example, the afforementioned girl I kinda-sorta like is someone who I've slowly gotten to know better over the past year, and I'm glad to call her a friend. However, sometimes I question whether my feelings for her are genuine. Sometimes I got the feeling that she was starting to like me, and maybe I was just responding to those perceptions? Blaaah, sometimes it doesn't even make sense how I feel.
Call me a pussy or whatever, that's where I am right now. I guess the moral is, we need to be able to get over ourselves and stand to get hurt sometimes in order to find what we're looking for. This is something, I"m still working on, and I hope to confront it someday.


and my standards are NOT high!
(seriously, they aren't)

Quote of the day: "Why is Morgan on TV? -Adam